It was one of the most memorable workshops that I have ever conducted. The other day, I asked participants to complete a group activity and share at least one heart touching story. One of the weakest groups shared a story that re-touched my heart and made me feel some tears in my eyes.
Thought to share what I heard the other day.
They said, An 80 year old man was sitting on the chair in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.
The Father asked his Son, "What is this?" The Son replied "It is a crow".
After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, "What is this?" The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".
After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, What is this?" At this time some expressions of irritation were felt in the Son's tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. "It's a crow, a crow".
A little after, the Father again asked his Son the 4th time, "What is this?" This time the Son shouted at his Father, "Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"
A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary:-
"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the chair, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".
One of the group members ended the story with a hand-written note, “I wish if my parents were alive – I need to sorry them”
Well, not surprisingly I found few participants literally crying after this story and two of them left the conference room and didn’t come back. I don’t know why.
What I understood is, while the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed.
If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents.
From today say this aloud, "I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me. They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today".
Say a prayer to God, "I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I will say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave.
- The day you find that we have become very old , try to have some patience with us and try to understand us.
- If we get dirty while eating … If we have some difficulty dressing… be patient! Remember the hours that we spent teaching you these things when you were small.
- If we repeat the same thing dozens of time, do not interrupt us! When you were small, you wanted us to tell you the same story again and again until you fell asleep. And we did it happily!
- By seeing our ignorance of new technologies, do not laugh at us but give me time to understand these.
- If we do not wash ourselves so often under the shower, do not reprimand and do not tell us that it is a shame. Remember how many excuses we had to invent to make you take a bath when you were small.
- We taught you so many things …. to eat well …to dress well… to behave well… how to confront the problems of the life … Help us in the same way as when we held your hands to teach you take your first steps.
- If we sometimes lose memory or are not able to follow a conversation, give us the necessary time to recollect and if we do not get there, do not become nervous and arrogant person because the most important thing for us… is to be with you and to be able to speak to you.
- You do not have to feel sad, unfortunate or incompetent in front of our old age and of our state of mind. You have to stay near us, try to understand what we lived for.
- Help us enjoy every moment now as after your birth we compromised and lived our lives for you only.
- Don’t shout at us, we feel running out of home far away from everyone similarly you felt once in your childhood.
- Don’t panic if you find us sad and quiet. We may not be able to catch the speed of your generation.
- Help us walk, help us to end our lives with love and patience. The only thing that we need from you is a smile and
a lot of love.
- We don’t like the way you talk to us in front of your friends and spouse.
- Do you still think that we have enough, energy and patience time to compromise more?
- Try to understand that at certain age, we do not really live any more. We simply survive!
- We know you don’t like our some friends – You remember, We didn’t like your friends too, but always let you party with them.
- And when one day, we shall say that we do not want to live any more … that we want to die, do not get angry … because one day, you will also understand!
Parents (Late)
You wish if were alive…
I believe that if you have reached the end, you must be in a different state of mind. Write me an email now and share what you feel and then go back to parents and hug them.
